The throbbing in my heart grows with each stroke of the pen. My head swirling in a daze, the pages slowly evolving into a puddle of black and white. With every breath I take, the sensation spreads throughout my body. Shaking hands, palpitations and wells of water building up in my eyes. I wipe them away with my damp sleeve, frantically moving between the pages and moving my hands down just to fill the space.

“Pens down”. That was it. The final exam.

I step out of the room surrounded by peers, hands covering their eyes, engulfed in each other with soft sobs or distraught calls to family. My heart begins to race, as droplets began to fall despite all my energy to keep them in. But they won’t know this. They won’t know what I, what we went through, behind the façade on a lonely number.

Growing up, my parents had always emphasised the importance of the entrance exam to higher education. I was constantly reminded of it everytime I finished an exam. It wasn’t over, remember it’s a marathon. But what is this marathon worth if I’m putting my blood, sweat and tears just to be defined by a number. An empty, dimensionless number that doesn’t encompass the joy, pains or the will to learn.

The final exam was slowly defining who I was. A single number putting a value on my very worth. No amount of words would stop this drumming pain in my head, slowly devouring me into a meaningless ritual of study and self-worthlessness.

But at the core of this, I was still a human. A human with amazing friends that are able to communicate and plan events with others. A student who advocated for student’s wellbeing and a diverse environment. I was a peer mentor who cared for new students allowing them to feel comfortable at the first year in high school. Yet none of this, absolutely none, is shown on this number.

So the final answer is no. No, your result from the SAT or the IB, or the HSC from me truly reveals the truth about someone. Everyone is more than a number. At the end of the day, there are a million pathways to catch your dreams. So don’t let a lonely number define, rather a collection of beautiful moments, loving people and a happy mind should be what truly matters.

The SAT really doesn’t tell who you are. No one really can tell you who you are, only you can define yourself.